Why is self-compassion so hard?

Anxiety 2 Confidence podcast

I came across some of the research around self-compassion as part of my masters in psychology studies. On an academic level, the concept of self-compassion interested me and was relevant to the case study I was working with however there was also a personal interest.

The more I read about self-compassion the more I realised something a little difficult to stomach, I was actually pretty poor at practicing it myself….

One of the amazing things about furthering my studies and working as a hypnotherapist is that I get to experience a wide range of different ways that people learn to manage their anxiety and often have to take a bit of a look at myself and consider how I deal with issues that come up for me.

So, realising that I am not great at self-compassion is a little tricky for a therapist but also a great opportunity to learn.

In order to get better at something, I personally like to understand it so this blog is going to consider what self-compassion is, why someone might struggle with it and how you might be able to get started in a small way even if the whole concept seems a bit unattainable to you.

references

Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Bluth, K., & Neff, K. D. (2018). New frontiers in understanding the benefits of self-compassion. Self and Identity, 17(6), 605–608. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2018.1508494

Breines, J. G., & Chen, S. (2012). Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133–1143. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167212445599

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x