Ep 63 | Emotional Healing Through Decluttering & My Declutter Challenge

But Still, She Thrives - Narcissistic Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Grey Rock Method, Healthy Boundaries, Childhood Abuse, Trauma Healing

Decluttering has become such buzz word a hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. But her style is too overwhelming for people who have gone through trauma. I have found a great technique that works wonders for people like you and I who already have overwhelm and need to do things bit by bit AKA sparkle by sparkle! So let's talk about how my declutter technique actually helps HEAL more than your home!

My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ChristyJade

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TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Hello? Hello. Today we are going to talk about decluttering. This is something I've been dabbling with leading on my YouTube channel for years. It is one of the things I do that, uh, people get a little excited about. So I was like, why don't I do a lovely little podcast about the relation between decluttering and healing. So that's what we're gonna talk about. So stay close, and if you're on YouTube, you can stare at my face as I talk. And if you're on podcast, here's my voice. Hello. And you podcasters get a special little intro. Do, do, do.
Speaker 1: (00:46)
Hey Queens, welcome to, but still, she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kinda lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace.
Speaker 1: (01:43)
But now we're back from the intro. Alright, so like I said, we are going to dive into decluttering for emotional healings today. Now decluttering, it's, it's become such a, I don't know, like a hot word, hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. Ali Caza, who is one of my actual mentors, um, also really became, well, well-known for her declutter course, and then she became a bestselling author with her book called Declutter Like a mother that I highly recommend. And she's amazing. Um, and it just has become such a thing because it can have so many benefits besides the obvious just decluttering your space. So I wanted to talk about, for people who have gone through trauma or just are overwhelmed at a really deep level where overwhelm leads their life and they have high anxiety or depression, your space can get out of, can get out of control, right?
Speaker 1: (02:51)
So decluttering can have many positive effects on the mental and emotional wellbeing, which contributes to healing. So your healing journey, if you're listening to me on my normal podcast about narcissism and abuse and how to make life better in general, you're someone who is probably on a healing journey or getting there. So here are some reasons why decluttering can be beneficial. And we might have a follow-up episode with this. Um, depending on how well it's received. If, if the people wanna hear more about decluttering, let me know. So first of all, the obvious one I think most of us know is reduced stress, because clutter in your living space can create visual chaos and can contribute to feelings of o overwhelm. Not everybody has this, but a lot of people who already feel overwhelmed and anxious. This can definitely happen to, if your space is cluttered and there's a lot of just things that ever, basically every item you have, you have to manage.
Speaker 1: (03:58)
So if you're someone who's overwhelmed, you're already feeling overwhelmed by decision fatigue, just making all sorts of decisions and actions. Maybe you're juggling your work, your home life, your kids, your friendships, travels, whatever. There's, there's a lot of balls we have in the air, especially I know a lot of you are moms like I am. So when you have that more organized, serene environment, it can reduce the stress and promote that sense of calm that we're striving for, right? A lot of us are like, I just wanna have calm. I wanna feel like I have my together. And when your house is, for me, I, this goes hand in hand. I am so tied to my environment, like hands down. I used to say to my mom, like, you'll know how my week's going. If you look at my room when I was like a teenager, right?
Speaker 1: (05:00)
Like having a good week, it was kind of tidy, feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. It was reflected in my environment. I think that's pretty common. So that can also though be like chicken and egg, where by doing these declutters, I'm actually doing a declutter challenge on my YouTube right now. It's a 30 day challenge. So if you're on my YouTube, go check those out. If you haven't, if you are not on my YouTube, go find me. I'm Christy Jade, C-H-R-I-S-T-Y, Jade. And you'll see my declutter series has started, and I have previous past Declutters on there too. Um, but I do declutter in a dash and I do that for people like myself and others like me that get overwhelmed easily. And the Marie Kondo ain't working because we don't, we cannot, we don't have the capacity to pull out an entire wardrobe, lay it on our bed and pretend we're gonna actually get that done quickly and we're gonna end up having to sleep in the guest room, right?
Speaker 1: (06:06)
Like, I don't have the capacity to do these huge overhauls. Occasionally I'll do one if I'm in that spirit of life, but, but it's rare. These mini declutters are where it's at for people like us. It is, I'd say 10 to 30 minutes tops is ideal. And that's also including the time you take to, um, allocate the items that either go to the trash or giveaway or to like another room, right? So anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here, but I, that's kind of like the intro into it is, yes, it reduces stress. This, this is how and why, and in these mini sessions is the best way for people like you and I to do this, right? If you have an, a big chunk of time and a big chunk of money, it's great if you can have someone come in and like redo everything in a few days.
Speaker 1: (07:04)
But the everyday person doesn't have that. Okay? Number two, another way that decluttering helps is improved focus and productivity. Productivity. I always say that word, word anyway, because a clutter-free space allows you to focus better on the tasks. Again, I will work from home. If I'm sitting there either on the phone with a client or typing up doing all the backend stuff that I do for my business, and there's a pile of laundry to the right of me on a chair, where is my attention gonna be? It's gonna be split. So it's so important to keep things decluttered and keep up with, um, cleaning routines, which I, if you guys want me to, um, I will also, you can email me, my email's always in the show notes. You can email and ask me my cleaning routine right now. It is just, it's awesome. Um, it, it's very helpful for keeping up with it with cleaning and laundry.
Speaker 1: (08:11)
Laundry is a big one. Oh, okay. Knocking stuff over. So you're less likely to be distracted by the mess, which can lead to increased productivity, right? And that sense of I've accomplished something. So that is number two. Number three, enhanced emotional wellbeing. As I talked about, physical clutter can be often a reflection of your mental clutter. So sorting through your, and organizing your belongings. That's why I was saying the chicken and egg right can help you process and release emotional attachment to objects. And again, this is a process, but it can be cathartic. Um, I've done it even with, let's say in the past, like when I had like ex-boyfriend stuff, you know, I had a little bin of, you know, the cards and mementos and stuff and it was like, I wasn't excited to do it, but when I finally did it and released that quote clutter, it did help release, right?
Speaker 1: (09:19)
Because I don't have that in my space anymore. The, I'm a big energy person, if you don't know that about me, and even knowing it's in my space is taking up some, some of that emotional space, that emotional clutter, because I don't need from my ex-boyfriend if I'm not with my boyfriend, right? I even did it with an old friend. We had a little box that were cheesy butts, um, of cards and just same type of thing, tickets. And yeah, there were some good memories, but, um, she wasn't so kind to me in the end. And so there was a, they were tainted anyway. And so I released those and just having that out of my space. And I know that's, you know, like past this and that. But there can also be things like, um, let's say like things with negative associations. Like let's say you're a prom dress, you just hold onto it for nostalgia.
Speaker 1: (10:21)
But whenever you see it in your closet, let's say you have in your closet, it's just in the back there and it's like, oh, nostalgia. But let's say you've gained some weight. I just know this has happened to some people. I've had client that held onto a lot of clothes from the past and she'd gained weight and it was a reminder, like every time she looked at it, she'd feel bad about herself. And I'm like, girl, first of all, that was like 20 years ago. We've all grown and you are a new you and that is holding you back. And we don't wanna feel stuck, right? I'm like, antis, stuckness. That's what all my coaching is about. We don't wanna be stuck. We want to be living in the now and looking forward to the future, creating the future we want. So does staring at things that are, have negative feelings, like listen to your body, booboos, you're looking at something in your closet and it makes you feel bad, get rid of it, right?
Speaker 1: (11:18)
So that's another kind of angle on the emotional wellbeing aspect. Number four, clear reminded, this goes hand in hand kind of with, I was saying you're working from home or just in general, but a tidy space often does translate to a clearer mind. And when you remove the clutter, you may find it easier to think clearly. So besides being a distraction, like you're looking at that laundry pile, I do again, believe in the energy of when there's a bunch of chaos around. It is harder for me to think, even if I'm not looking at it, even if I'm staring at my screen. It's kind of just knowing it's there and feeling this like chaotic energy around, right? So decluttering is creating a more harmonious and positive environment. I noticed that just today I took down my, I had a bunch of Christmas stuff up and we took, you know, we took it down like a week ago or something.
Speaker 1: (12:14)
Um, but I, I have felt more at peace in my living room. I love Christmas. I love Christmas decor, but with a child, the decor got a little outta hand and she likes all little things and plays with them. I'm like, I know I'm gonna miss this one day. So I take it all out. But it felt so calm having so much less stuff around after the holiday, clear out, you know, number six, increased self-esteem. So actually accomplishing the task of doing the decluttering, that alone can build your confidence and self-esteem. I know it does for me. I'm like, look at me. Go look at me. Declutter the crap outta my kitchen. Go ahead girl. Getting rid of all those VAEs yesterday. Um, it shows that you have the ability to take control of your surroundings, which sometimes we feel like we're out of control.
Speaker 1: (13:08)
Like we don't have control. Like we don't have our together. So even that's what I love. I'm very immediate satisfaction and I know a lot of my followers are too, right? I tend to attract people like myself. That's a thing with a lot of, I don't know what you call me, I don't wanna say I'm an influencer, but like whatever a a, I'm a vibe . No, but I'm, I'm in a public space, right? And a lot of times you will attract people that are like you. So knowing what I know from talking to my followers, my subscribers and just knowing how the world works with when you follow people, it's 'cause you resonate usually, right? Um, it, I think we have this love the dopamine hit of like doing something quickly and feeling accomplished and good about it. Like, yes, I did that and not having it take, you know, two months to, to complete.
Speaker 1: (14:04)
That's why I love these quick declutters. 'cause it's like, yes, I did that look, yes. Ooh, I cleared out a a drawer in like seven minutes and I have like, you know, a third more space and that feels good and I did that and I can, it's like a reminder. I can take control of things even if it's little by little, right? Because that can, that's a whole other story. But that can relate to, and that's how I do my coaching as well. We can't do everything at once, but little by little it really feels better than you might think. And you, it's like a snowball effect where the, the more you do those little by little, the bigger the impact, the bigger the effect. And it's amazing. And that's why I love coaching. 'cause it's so fun to watch people grow so quickly. Um, but it is kind of, I call it sparkle by a sparkle.
Speaker 1: (14:55)
So that self-esteem will rise. Number seven, space for new beginnings. La la la. So decluttering can be symbolic of letting go of the past, like I mentioned, and making room for new. And this is, this is your environment. This is also decluttering those nasty, toxic people outta your life. That, that was like a benefit I had of when I kind of decluttered a lot of, not just physical, but just I did a lot of work emotionally years ago. And it was, it was hard, but, but distancing from toxic anything or chaotic anything, environment people. Um, I did a lot of it and it was like a lot to handle 'cause it was a lot at once. But I will say holy cannoli, yeah, I said holy cannoli, the space it opened up for new people that I didn't even know. Like, such empowering, uplifting women even existed honestly, that were like, that I had access to.
Speaker 1: (16:04)
If that makes sense. You know, you see women like motivational speakers or whatever, these, you know, people that seem far off, but these are like real life everyday women that I have become friends with. And I would not have had the open space if I wouldn't have taken out the toxic people out of my life. And it's similar, right? With decluttering. I mean that's a tip in general, that's always a tip for me. But talking about our physical space, same thing. Clear out what is not working for you, right? You get rid of those nine pairs of old pants that you just don't fit in and they make you feel bad. Get rid of those and maybe go get yourself a couple pairs of cute new pants that make you feel good, that fit you now. And you're looking in the mirror and you're like, Gina, I do still got it.
Speaker 1: (16:53)
Okay. Um, so the space for new beginnings, I love that. And last, there's, there's more benefits, but I'm gonna wrap it up with number eight, better physical health. So a clutter, flee, flea. Flea, a clutter-free environment can be easier to maintain and clean. So first of all, the time you get back, I just wanna throw that, that's kind of, that's physical health related to in a way, but it's also, it's separate. The time you get back is insane. The less you have, the less you have to clean and manage every single item you have to manage. Imagine, think about all the items you have in your house. Picture 'em. Gosh, like that's, that for me is a reminder. Whenever I feel like, oh, I don't know if I wanna get rid of this. I do sit and think about Christie, think about all the stuff you have.
Speaker 1: (17:44)
Imagine all of it. That's so overwhelming to think about. This will feel good to just get rid of it. Get rid of it, right? So all the things that are not working for you, that means they are working against you, that's against your health. Also. The more stuff you have, the less clean, the more allergens you have. I know that for a fact when I lived in a one bedroom apartment with all wood floors and barely anything in it, my allergies were not as bad as when I moved in a house with a bunch of carpet and accumulated a lot of stuff. Uh, huge difference, right? And just creating like a healthier living space, right? And I will say this, when I do these declutters, I get more steps in getting those steps in through decluttering, organizing. It's, I don't know, it's my like hyperfocus right now.
Speaker 1: (18:40)
And I love it because I'm getting my steps in on top of my workouts. I'm gonna dance class, um, aiming four times a week and it's a great free way to get a workout, right? You're going from room to room. Like you can make it more time. I know we're doing the declutter in a dash, but that's 10 minutes of some sort of physical activity. And if you wanna go for 30, you wanna go for an hour 'cause you have the time that day or you wanna allocate that time, say, oh, I could do that. That could be in my workout dance while you're doing it. You know, I do. I mean, not on camera 'cause you couldn't hear me, but when I clean and I organize on my own, declutter on my own, I jam out and dance and bop around. So burn, burn, baby burn.
Speaker 1: (19:30)
So remember, the process of decluttering is personal and the benefits do vary from person to person. Oh, someone's beeping me. Um, it's not just about tidying up the physical space, but creating the mental and emotional space, right? It's all intertwined. And I know it's not easy, but what I always try to do with my clients in my coaching world with decluttering, whatever it is, is I'm trying to help make life more fun. At the end of the day, I want life to be simpler and fun for you and decluttering, doing it in a dash, I hope is feels lighter for you and that you can look forward to it and say, oh, I, I got 10 minutes. I gotta a half hour instead of like, these major overhauls that are so overwhelming. And maybe we have the energy to do that sometimes, and that's cool.
Speaker 1: (20:32)
But if you are like me, I do not have that often. And these, I do get excited to do these with you guys and I just love doing this declutter challenge and I might continue it or I don't know, you'll, you guys, I'll get your feedback toward the end of it. Um, if you want me to continue or do a new challenge, like an organizational challenge. But it's, it's very freeing feeling and it's simple. It's, you know, it's just, and when you get into that daily habit, it's so helpful. So again, if you're on YouTube watching me, just go to my channel where you already are and um, watch my declutters subscribe if you're not subscribed. And if you are listening and you didn't even know I had a YouTube channel surprise, I have YouTube channel and I do, I don't know, I do random.
Speaker 1: (21:22)
I'm random Christie. So I do declutters, I do makeup videos. I might start a series on Wednesday nights of past dating stories. I thought that would be fun. My husband thought that was like a grand idea. He actually, I think he gave it to me when I was telling dating stories because I have crazy, insane dating stories. So that could be fun. Um, but yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm just me just living my best life, trying to have fun, keep things peaceful and simple, but have fun doing it right, like healing. I love a good heel. Healing can be fun too. So if you're looking for help in that area, on the emotional side, I am a light. I don't like to even say life coach. I need to find a new name for myself. But basically, especially if you've been through some stuff and you're just not feeling good and you want that sparkly life, that just joy.
Speaker 1: (22:16)
Like we're not, we're not looking to be, you know, queen of the entire world, but we're queens. That's my thing. We are queens and we should treat ourselves like queens. Other people should treat us like queens. I'm not saying 'cause we're better. We're all deserving. God created us right? As these people who should not be, um, what's the word I'm looking? Suffering basically, right? Like we should, he doesn't want us to suffer every day. He's sky daddy. That's why I call him Sky Daddy wants us to live our purpose. And if you're not a God person, that's cool. It's your higher, higher person. What's it called? Your higher self, right? What's your higher self want? And there's so many ways to help heal yourself. And I do believe decluttering. It sounds so weird. Like, oh, decluttering is healing, but it truly is. And I can vouch for it because whenever I do it, I feel such a dopamine hit and that like, like I said, this accomplished.
Speaker 1: (23:21)
Like, yeah, I did it. You know, I'm doing the thing even if it's bit by bit. Um, so thank you for listening. If you're on audio, hello. Hello. Come join my YouTube and if you can see my face, hi. I can't even see my face. I don't even have my thing on right now. There we go. I couldn't see 'cause I had my notes to the side. I gotta keep notes. I have a DDI need some notes up in here. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. And like I said, you have, you have the my email address. The email address fierce mama C at gmail that's in the podcast notes. So shoot me a note, say hi. The links to How to Work with me, ways to work with Me are always in the show notes. So check those out and say hi on YouTube. All right, Bibo boo, I love you. Are we gonna do, we're not gonna do, um, 'cause I think this is running long. How long is this? It doesn't say, I feel like this is long. So we're not gonna do affirmations this one, but I will try next time. Okay. Excuse me. Pardon me. Love you. So smooches and deuces. I will see you in the next episode.
Speaker 2: (24:29)
Ah.