E05 How did we do it?? From Failed-Marriage Misery to Cosmic Connections, Hot-Tub Orgies and Sex Parties in a Castle

Deeper Sex - A Sex Positive Podcast Exploring Fantasies And Boundaries

Download our free guide “10 phrases to help you start deeper conversations with your partner”

You asked for our origin stories… and here they are! Today you will hear from Allie, Will and Chiara about the journeys that brought them to non-monogamous bliss: from conservative childhoods, through breakdowns, divorces and body shame to the light at the end of the tunnel.

We show how opening up our sexual worlds became a catalyst for the strongest relationships of our lives, founded in trust, authenticity, communication and beneath it all – self-love.

We explain how we “fell” into non-monogamy almost by chance, survived a few novice mistakes, and explored our way through this crazy circus to discover what we like.

You’ll hear spicy stories about our first experiences in group sex environments and swinger clubs, what we put ourselves through, how we learned to communicate, trust and stand up for ourselves.

We’re aware that what we do isn’t everyone's cup of tea. Perhaps you can’t picture yourself in an Eyes-Wide-Shut sex party, and that’s fine – we’re not kink evangelists! This podcast uses stories of adventure on the fruity end of the spectrum as a lens to explore ideas that we hope will empower everybody – singles and monogamous folks included.

Would you like some fresh ideas on things like communication, curiosity and bravery? If so, listen on and enjoy!

01:14 Introduction to The Episode

02:27 You Should Listen If...

02:51 Will's Journey: From Vanilla to Exploration

05:21 Finding Freedom and Rebirth through Love and Exploration

06:04 Chiara’s Transformation: from Catholic Roots to Kissing a Woman (!)

08:57 From Fantasy To Reality

10:56 Communicate Clearly Before Swinging!

12:52 “Sexperts” Night

14:40 Fun4Two: Our First Swingers Club

15:39 The Dark Room

18:29 "The Hot Tub Lady" Encounter

21:21 I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It

25:11 Allie's Life Adventure: from Small Town Girl to Adventurous Sex Lover

28:08 If We Cheat We Cheat Together

29:29 The Sexy Castle Adventure... Attempt

33:14 Sorry - I Already Came!

34:30 Swinging CAN Strengthen Relationships

39:59 How Swinging Environments Can Gift Body Confidence

41:24 How to Navigate the Swinging Scene

43:25 Is Swinging for Me?

45:44 Keeping the Spark Alive

51:02 The Hot Tub Story: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

51:45 No Condom Asked

55:23 What We Learnt From Our Mistakes At Our First Swingers Club

56:19 Be Open! (To Listen AND To Communicate)

>> Sensuality & Soft Touch Workshop: Join The Waitlist

>> Follow us on Instagram

WHO IS WILL:

Will is a psychologist, a journalist, an entrepreneur, a spin doctor, an executive advisor, and a father. For two decades his passion was the world of words and stories. He reported from wars and riots. He wrote communication strategies for national governments and prime ministers. He coached CEOs and rocket scientists. He built companies and made his fortune, changed track, reinvented himself, and refocused his energy on inner meaning.

Today, Will works as a coach and retreat facilitator, following his vocation to help others unblock their lives and find meaning and happiness. He is fascinated by the power of love, intimacy and sexual liberation to forge profound and connected relationships with others and to unlock the deepest healing forces within ourselves.

Will is married to Chiara, and could not possibly be happier.

WHO IS CHIARA:

Chiara is an ICF-certified professional Co-Active Coach®, with a masters degree in business communication. She was a director for a major tech-sector pioneer where she led sales teams for over 15 years. Communication and helping others to perform were her daily bread. Finding herself successful but unfulfilled, she left her first marriage, quit the corporate world and embarked on a new journey – first to reinvent herself, and then to help others chart their own path of meaning and purpose. She rechanneled her energy from masculine overachiever to feminine goddess turned (self)-love mentor. She reconnected with her body and learned to receive true love.

Today Chiara specializes in supporting men and women to discover the power of their sexuality, reconnect with their bodies, and become truly "comfortable" in themselves rather than just "confident". She helps people make brave and empowering life decisions, keep the fire burning in romantic relationships, and embark on beautiful adventures in the worlds of sensuality and sex.

WHO IS ALLIE

Allie is an experienced meditation coach, sound healer and yoga teacher. She works with individuals and couples to help them reduce stress, find emotional balance, and foster self-awareness.

Inspired by both science and personal experience, she's on a mission to discover and share the best modalities to maintain an exciting sexual life.

Allie has lived and worked in many countries around the world. As a loving mother and wife, she is a fount of knowledge and wisdom on how to balance adventures in non-monogamy and sexuality with the demands of modern life and relationships.