Eps 481: Let’s talk about porn with Amy Lang and Christy Keating

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography.

Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid.

So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better.

Takeaways from the show

• Your kids will see pornography
• Pornography is different than when you were a kid
• Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble!
• Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spaces
• Kids see pornography as Sex Ed
• Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies
• Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid”
• Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s
• What do we say to our kids about this?
• Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequent
• Using monitoring software

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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