EP.84 - Varinder (Papa) - "You Cannot Change The Other Person, You Have To Make A Change Yourself"

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In this special episode, I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to sit down with my very first male role model, the person who has influenced my understanding of male relationships at every stage of my life—from girlhood, through young womanhood, to womanhood. I am honored to welcome to the podcast, my Papa Varinder Singh Randhawa a South Asian immigrant.
Together, we reminisce about his early days in Canada, sharing nostalgic NHL memories and the cultural shocks he experienced upon arrival. We tap into his thoughts on important issues such as abuse and the powerful impact of Jeeti Pooni's book, The Silent Stoning. This book highlights the harrowing experiences of a South Asian woman facing sexual abuse by a family member, and its high-profile criminal court case. It serves as a powerful reminder of the struggles many girls and women face, often in silence, within their own families and communities. My father shares his reflections on the book and the importance of recognizing and addressing such issues.
Papa emphasizes the need to teach our young men how to treat the women in their lives, stressing the importance of change that begins at home. He reflects on the progress he's seen across generations, particularly in the growing awareness and education around mental health.
Throughout our conversation, Papa's words resonate deeply:
"Sometimes, to get a better life, you’ll do anything."
"Sometimes you have to give up something to get something."
"We have to teach our sons how to treat women."
"Before I talk to anybody else, I want to make a change."
"It only takes one person."
"Communicate and seek help."
"There is nothing wrong with asking for help."
Join us as we explore these themes and more, in an intimate and heartfelt conversation with my Papa, reflecting on the past, present, and future of our family and community.

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In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.