How Can my Family & Friends Support Me & My Partner in Recovery? How Much Should We Share & with Whom?

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

In Episode 220, Mark & Steve talk about a challenge in porn/sex addiction and betrayal trauma healing that is all about a "third party"—the family and friends of the addict and partner. Here's a situation submitted by a PBSE listener—
Hey guys. Would you consider doing a podcast episode about advice for friends or family trying to support the addict and/or the betrayed partner? It’s like I want to send my friends a guide around [how they can support me] Eg: being “supportive no matter what” & helping them understand why a partner may stay due to the nature of it all being addiction outside of sex. I guess I’m struggling to explain to my friends what I’m experiencing with my grief, relationship with God, triggers etc. They are amazing friends but they struggle to understand that it was an addiction and not him just being a cheater. So they just want what’s best for me & think I need to leave. Just an idea on a helpful episode/s for us!
For the Coupleship:
- Decide as a couple, as much as possible, how much you want to share with others and then HONOR that agreement.
- It's your story - don’t feel obligated to overshare!

For the Partner & Addict:
- Be selective about who you confide in.
- Sharing is a one-way street (you can't "un-share" later).
- Before sharing, consider the benefits and drawbacks:
- How can this person be of help?
- How could sharing with them impact me negatively?
- Do they have the capacity to bear the weight of this information emotionally?
- Always be authentic, but use wisdom in how deep you go.
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services