E. 17 Pt.1 - Unsolicited Advice: The Thing We Love to Give and Hate to Receive.

That's So Deep

Hello So Deep Peeps!

Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Unsolicited Advice: The Thing We Love to Give And Hate to Receive.

Some deep things we cover:

1. How do you feel when people give you unsolicited advice?
2. Relationship Triggers: Sometimes you can’t take advice simply because of the relationship you have with the person who is giving the advice even if the advice is sound.
3. Three Categories of Feedback: Appreciation, Coaching and Evaluation.
4. Love and Belonging VS. Growth: Sometimes these can be opposing forces inside our hearts and minds.
5. All Advice is Autobiographical: We inevitably give advice to others through the lens of our own lives. It is unavoidable.
6. We see you New Moms! People are talking at you all day everyday but we want you to know that you’re killing it!
7. Being a Friend to Our Friend’s Who are Stuck in a Bad Relationship: We talk about how tricky it is to speak truth, hold space and keep boundaries so we can help catch our friends when they are ready.

Take-aways:

To the Advice Giver:
Remember that all advice is autobiographical. You are approaching your friends from your lens and your life experiences and attempting to speak into their lives. Try a more curious approach and try to understand their lens before jumping in.

To the Advice Receiver:
Before sharing, think about what you need: When you share with a friend, you can sometimes open yourself up for advice even if what you need is just to process your feelings. Try to figure out what you need before sharing so that you can ask for what you need and your friend can be a better friend to you.
Surround yourself with loving and encouraging people: Good friends encourage, support and speak truth. Find those people and spend as much time as you can with them so that you can become the best you that you can be.
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We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming,

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. Let's Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower: Huston, Therese
2. Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well: Stone, Douglas, Heen, Sheila
3. The Essentials: Giving Feedback - Women at Work | Podcast on Spotify