E. 7 Conversations: Are you a monologuer or a dialoguer?
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Hello So Deep Peeps!
Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are having a conversation about HAVING A CONVERSATION!
Some deep things we cover:
- Interrupting means:
- You DON’T care: Interruptions can mean poor listening and show lack of care.
- You DO care: In certain cultures, interruptions and overlap can show engagement and that you do care about the conversation and relationship.
- Monologuing - When people talk AT you instead of talk TO you, it can leave you feeling used, upset and lonely.
- Talk Time Awareness: Are you aware of how much you are talking compared to how much the other person is talking?
- Mutual Curiosity: You can only build deeper bonds with people if there is MUTUAL curiosity and interest in one another.
- Check-ins and Rewinds: If you find yourself talking a lot, you can always check-in and rewind. Let your friend know you feel self conscious about talking too much and see if you can bring the focus back on them.
- Generosity: Sometimes Phyllis’ mind is like a “disorganized house” and she finds she can be more generous in conversation when her house is in order.
- Small Talk SUCKS! Let’s stop talking about the weather and start talking about our favorite smells!
- Conversations are the little knots that build the bridge of relationship: Relationships take patience and are built one conversation at a time.
- TMI: When is sharing too much just too much? If you experience what Brene Brown calls the “vulnerability hangover” then it is a sure sign that you have shared too much.
Take-aways:
Try having ONE good conversation with ONE person this week. Practice the following:
- Ask good questions
- Get curious
- Bring awareness to your talk time
- Try not to make the conversation about yourself
- Try a wacky conversation starter: Free Gift — Awkward Silence
We want to have a conversation with you!
The whole point of this podcast is to facilitate and encourage deeper conversations and we want to hear from you!
Here is how you can reach us:
Voicemail: 805-288-0884
Email: sodeeppeeps@gmail.com
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We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!
Love,
Phyllis & Julie
Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:
- Glennon Doyle: We Can Do Hard Things Episode 22 | Momastery : Real Talk: How can we begin to use conversation as a key to unlocking each other?
- Steven Benbow: 20 Benefits of Conversation — Awkward Silence
- Adam Grant: Adam Grant Status
- Dr. Ellen Hendrickson: How to Deal With Loneliness
- “vulnerability hangover” - Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability | TED Talk
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