85. How to Have a Tension Free Relationship with Your Daughter with Dr. Michelle Deering

The Unfiltered Motherhood Podcast

“I had a very, not-so-great relationship with my mom,” says Dr. Michelle Deering. “And so, when my husband and I found out we were having girls, I did not want to repeat things.” A mother-daughter relationship personal trainer, Michelle was originally wary about having girls based on her own experiences. However, Michelle explains that she was incredibly intentional about her interactions with them throughout their childhood years. Her twin daughters are now in their 20s and flourishing!
Michelle believes that every mother and daughter should have a thriving, loving relationship. In today’s episode, Michelle and Jamie discuss how a woman’s relationship with her mother can greatly influence her relationship with her own daughter, both in positive and negative ways. They also discuss statistics surrounding mother and daughter relationships in the state and the various changes that can impact the mother-daughter relationship as daughters grow up.
Tune into this week’s episode of The Unfiltered Motherhood Podcast for a conversation with Michelle about creating positive mother and daughter bonds that can truly thrive. Michelle offers expert advice for listeners, reflects on her own experiences, and discusses her insights resolving tension throughout motherhood.
Quotes
• “We are pulled in so many directions. It's easy for us to push things aside, push feelings aside, just overcompensate for things. So, it's really important to get into your body. That's one of the things I love about what you do is that the practice of putting on your makeup is attending to your body in this external way that feeds what's going on internally to wake up something.” (21:20-21:50)
• “I think ultimately what moms are really wanting with their daughters and what I hear so often from clients who come to me is, ‘I just want to be close.’ Yes, you will get close. But you have to allow for that moment. Those periods of separation are going to happen.” (34:22-34:40)
• “We as moms...we're almost near equal pay 80%. We earned degrees, then we earned more degrees, and we earned them faster than guys do….And yet, our daughters are less confident. They’re struggling. And I'm like, ‘Where's the disconnect?’” (42:04-42:30)
• “I want you to remember two things. One, that not only are you enough, but the only perfection is that you will perfectly love your daughter imperfectly. And I hope that that takes a weight off you as you ponder that statement.” (44:13-44:31)
• “We have this expectation of what a village looks like, what a family looks like, what support looks like, and we need to really learn and be open. Like what a cool time to live in right now that we can have this crazy cool online community….How cool that we have so many opportunities to get plugged in, and learn from other women and other families and all these different examples.” (56:07-56:34)
Links
Connect with Dr. Michelle Deering:
https://www.curativeconnections.com/
https://www.facebook.com/CurativeConnections/
https://www.instagram.com/curativeconnections/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sportpsychologydoctor/
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