PILLBOX: The Wish Book

The Bitterest Pill: The Dan Klass Monologues

(Originally posted May 3, 2011) I saw Beck at the doctor’s office and Tara Ried at the meat counter. Apparently neither of them were invited to the big wedding across the pond. Man, I haven’t seen this many people get this excited about breeding show dogs since, well, 1981. Frankly, I thought the whole monarchy thing had run it’s course, until I saw Prince William/The Duke of Cambridge and his new (hot) bride driving around in an Aston Martin Volante with a “Learner” plate on the front. Sweet move, Billy!

I talked reality with my agent. Honestly, if you’re trying to make it in show business, reality is the last thing you want to talk about.

We started the odyssey of getting a new heating system put into the house. We’ll see how that all turns out. We had guys from a major American retailer come over to give us a quote. We thought they’d never leave. Eventually we signed on the dotted line. Then, they started to get cranky. Bad move. Something they need to keep in mind: We don’t need the heater until October. Mind your manners…

My apologies to Tara Reid for not remembering she was Bunny Lebowski.