[Finding God in All Things] Day 37 – Do You Really Want Me?

Farmer of Hearts - Finding God in All Things

During the last ten days of the retreat, we kept mentioning that the relationship God wants to have with us is a marriage relationship. The concept of marriage originates from God Himself. Since we perceive God as a father figure and Jesus Christ also embodies a male identity, when we talk about our relationship with God being a marital one, it's easy for us to associate it with the imagery of the Church being the bride of Christ, with us, as the Church, being the body of Christ, assuming a female identity. Yes, from this perspective, the Church, which is us, indeed represents the bride, having a female identity in the context of marriage. Undoubtedly, many male believers may find this concept difficult to accept. The thought of being in a romantic relationship with Jesus Christ while assuming a "female" identity is indeed unsettling! No wonder men may find it challenging to fully engage in a relationship with God. However, whether you are female or male, please accept this reality. We should not confine our understanding of God based on gender when we consider accepting Him and His love for us. Compared to other more important aspects of our relationship with God, gender is relatively less significant. Therefore, please do not miss the point by focusing our attention on the lesser thing.

In fact, we need to acknowledge that as creations of God, we do not have a "say" in the design scheme of God’s love towards us. Although God has given us free will to choose to accept or reject Him, once we choose to follow Him, we need to accept God's "relationship model". How God wishes to connect with us is part of His perfect design. He does not seek to coerce us into compliance because that is not the definition of God's love. In God's eyes, everything revolves around putting us first and foremost. Therefore, in the relationships He designs, everything is premised on what is best for us, rather than on God's own preferences.

I believe many of us, when attending weddings, have asked the couple how their relationship started. Out of curiosity, we asked, "Who made the first move?" This question tends to be the most embarrassing question for the couple, especially if it was the woman who took the initiative, as it may seem she lacked dignity!

Let's take a look at our relationship with God and see who takes the initiative, and who is more dignified. God, as the Lord of Hosts, should be exalted, but we can see that whether it is God in the Old Testament or Jesus in the New Testament, it is God who takes the initiative. From this perspective, in the eyes of God, we are precious, and this is something no one can deny. If by now we still do not believe that God puts us first among all else, then we are truly hopeless!

Recall on the 26th day of our retreat, when Jesus comforted His disciples with these parting words: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also." (John 14:1-3) Please picture this in your mind. These are the heartfelt words Jesus spoke to His beloved when He knew He was about to face suffering and death, when He was about to leave. And as you carefully ponder the words of Jesus, you will find that these are not just heartfelt words, but the most delicate, thoughtful, and sweet parting words, the solemn promises from the depths of Jesus’ soul.

Jesus wants to comfort us, His beloved, when He briefly departs. He urges us not to panic, or mistakenly think that He will leave us forever. Instead, just like the custom of Jewish weddings at that time, Jesus wants to propose to us first. Then He will go to prepare a place for us and come back to marry us! This is indeed the attitude of our Saviour, not to save us with an army, but to redeem us in the most humiliating way, on the cross, showing His willingness to give everything for us!

Even in His own time of great trial, not only did Jesus humble Himself to wash our feet, but He also pursues us and proposes to us to show that we are precious in His eyes. We have such a God who, out of love for us, is willing to humble Himself to this extent. What excuses or reasons do we have to reject this love from God?

This indeed also tells us that it is not we who choose God, but God who chooses us!

Reflection

In your relationship with God, are there any feelings of discomfort or awkwardness that hinder you from further establishing a closer relationship with God? Can you trace the reasons for this, or perhaps some misunderstandings you have about this relationship?

Have you ever deeply pondered the thoughts that God has put into pursuing you? Now, please try to look at your relationship with God from a different perspective and find evidence of God's love for you from past experiences.

Do you believe that Jesus is serious and faithful to you? Do you believe that He is carefully preparing for you the details of your future dwelling in heaven? Take a moment to feel how precious you are!

Today’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, I can no longer tell whether You came to this world to save humanity or to save me personally; whether You came to spread the Good News of salvation or to pursue me, to propose to me! You have made me begin to blur the lines, whether You are my Creator, my Saviour, my Teacher, my Friend, or... or... my Lover...

I believe that today, as I hear You gently say, all these relationship patterns I have had with You are aimed at guiding me, step by step, to get closer to You. Ultimately, what You want is not just for me to be a faithful disciple, not for me to do great things for You. What You want is me, who is useless and broken; it's my heart, a heart that doesn't know how to love; it's my choice, to accept Your love, to choose You as my inseparable other half...

Today, I deeply feel that having You is truly having everything... I feel a satisfaction like never before, a satisfaction of being deeply loved by You without regrets...

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The following is the “Farmer of Hearts: Finding God in All Things” team, including FLL staff and volunteers. Please kindly pray for them. May God protect them and sustain their physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

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